I continued a teaching series last Sunday on the life of Samson called, “Confessions of a Strong Man”. Each week in this series, we’re looking at a negative character trait with which this man from the Old Testament in the Bible struggled. We’re talking about Samson because we can struggle with these exact same things too. As I mentioned on Sunday, this series can seem to be a bit of a downer because we’re talking about things to NOT do or behaviors to NOT have. But, it’s been my experience (and I’m sure yours as well) that many times I learn what TO do by learning what NOT to do. We hopefully learn from our past mistakes so as to not repeat them. Or better yet, we’ll learn from the mistakes of someone else and do our best to not makes those same mistakes. So it is with Samson. We want to avoid major character flaws this man suffered from so we don’t end up never reaching our full potential like he did.
The “confession” we made this week is, “I’m Proud”. St. Augustine, one of the ancient Church leaders, has been quoted as saying, “Pride is the mother of all sin.” That is so true! When we dig down deep in our hearts, we can see a common thread throughout all of our bad, ill-advised, harmful, negative, destructive behavior – pride. It’s about what I want. It’s about what’s most convenient for ME. Pride causes me to not care about others, but to be totally focused on MYSELF. Pride causes us to bend or break rules and then to excuse or justify it. It may start out small, and it may seem very subtle at times, but pride has a way of slowly getting a grip on our hearts & minds until it takes control and leads ultimately to ruin & destruction in our lives.
To help us see if pride is a big issue, a growing issue, or if we’re so into ourselves it’s not even funny, here is a checklist of 12 questions to consider when it comes to how you see the world & how you live your life. Again, some of these are very subtle, and you may even push back on a couple of them. But if we’re really fair and honest with ourselves, I pray we would allow God to poke & prod and motivate us to do all we can to remove pride from our lives. Remember, the call to follow Jesus begins with denying yourself. Here’s the checklist:
1. Is the main motivation for most of the decisions you make “you-focused” or “others-focused”?
2. Are most of the conversations you have with others mainly about you?
3. Are you consistently late to appointments?
This one may receive a little push-back. You might think, “How is this an indication of pride? I’m just really busy!” And no one else is? No one else has schedules or plans or a life that doesn’t revolve around you? That sounds harsh, I know. But, think about it. What are you unintentionally or subconsciously communicating to others when you’re always late? That your time is more important than everyone else’s. That it’s ok if you’re late because they certainly have nothing better to do than wait around on you. The key word here is “consistently”. There will be occasions where even the most prompt person accidentally forgets something at home or at the office and has to double back which causes them to be a few minutes late. We’re not looking for perfection here. Things happen. That’s life. The problem is when someone is habitually late – and even worse when they don’t care or don’t seem to care. It’s very subtle, and probably not malicious or intentional, but it’s something to work on.
4. Do you regularly ignore good advice from trusted family & friends and do things your own way (& usually make bad decisions)?
5. Do you regularly bend/break rules or disregard boundaries in your life?
6. Do you regularly excuse or justify why you break rules or disregard boundaries?
7. Do you regularly (whether intentionally or not) remind others of how well you keep rules & tell them how they should too?
This one requires a bit of on explanation too. This is almost a reverse form of pride from what we’ve mentioned so far. Keeping rules and staying within boundaries is good. But when you rub others’ noses in how good you are at it, that’s not good. To compound that, many times the “rules keepers” will make others feel bad for not being as good at keeping the rules as they are. We see this with religious pride. “I love God more. I read the Bible more. I pray more. I never miss church. I keep the commandments. What’s wrong with all these other people?” Most people don’t come right out and say these things, but in attitudes or looks or body language or passing comments, it becomes obvious. This kind of pride is the worst kind because it ends up pushing people away from God. They feel like they’re trying the best they can, but with “religiously prideful guy” always telling them how bad they are, what’s the use? I know that guy because I’ve been that guy. I don’t like that guy. I don’t want to be that guy.
8. Do you regularly lose your temper when you don’t get your way?
9. Do you have a difficult time apologizing to others when you know you’re wrong?
10. Do you have a hard time working with others for fear of them “messing it up”?
11. Would you rather blindly make your own mistakes instead of learning for your past or others’ mistakes?
12. Do you have a hard time asking for help?
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Kind of a downer, I know. But, if pride is the “mother of all sin” it’s something we all have to deal with on some level and something we should all be on the lookout for. Pride can be subtle and sneaky, but it’s deadly. Let’s do all we can to remove pride and be others focused. It’s amazing how much better life can be when we live that way!